Welcome to zibbolo

I suffer from an anxiety disorder.

Have you ever been scared - like really scared? You tense up and alarm bells ring within your head and the nerves circulate in and around your body and leave you stunted into paralysis! You're stuck in your head and can't speak out a word as the world continues undisturbed around you and you just feel the constant fucking tense feeling in your head - Yeah me neither hero, well not in a real scary situation. Well this use to be me :D

Though the symptoms of my anxiety disorder raise their head from time to time they're generally controlled now. It use to be so bad that I couldn't even bare to set foot in a shopping mall because I had such a social phobia. It wasn't like I was scared, it's crazy - the feelings you get when you're actually scared arose such as your blood and your adrenalin raced through your body and there was tightness in my chest. They arose when I had no reason to be scared such as walking into a shop or talking to someone not just of the opposite sex (I'll get into that later) but anyone! I had to conceal a panic going on in the inside of my head while I irked motions of a nod toward whoever I was talking to so I could show some signs of consciousness till they finally got over my one worded answers (If they gave me the time in the first place) and proceeded along. I use to be naturally funny and playful but it all got lost along the way.

And that's what I have this blogg for; I want to reclaim my natural cheeky fun loving approach to life. About me as well - I'm a director/vfx artist and a writer - This is a chronicle of the adventures of me - unfortunately names/locations need changing because there are alot of wierdo's out there. I'm doing this because I need to improve my storytelling.

It's brutal honesty.

Peace!

zib