This happened when I returned home and went out I was suppose to post it yesterday haha
So I’m back home now and hit the local Friday night. I didn’t really step and got blown to hell on my first for the night haha, so I was like “Yayaah I need more of this shit yum.” Problem was those damn lair blokes are well ballsy stepping to everything in site before I even begin to contemplate whether I should go or not . (I deal with strictly dimes.) Anyway one of the lads is hitting up this fine fine feline and some bloke was cramping his style and I jumped in and winged taking the heat off holding the attention of the two blokes after that that was it.
Its cold as and I’m wearing a hoodie and this knitted jumper I remember looking in the mirror getting ready earlier in the night and thinking to myself “Haha, I look like a fucking snowman.”
That was how I started talking to the girls “Hey, do I look like a fucking snowman?” I was using that and “Yo whatup biaaaatch.” The second one I liked much better and as I was walking through this courtyard area this girl stops me and says; “Hey, how’s it going?” She’s not really my flavour but I stick around because she’s smart for liking me haha and a friend is talking to the other girl, so I say “Yo whatup biaaaaaaatch”
“Did you just call me a bitch?”
“Sure did baby, the fuck you gonna do huh? Haha”
“Take a picture with me!”
“Fuck that, taking pictures is weak. I’m out haha.”
“No you have too!”
This girl drags her friend over and I cup my hands on both their titties because you know, they where there and as we take a photo;
“I can’t believe you’re grabbing our tits”
“Shutup and pose baby”
Now this is not me being a blatant asshole, my philosophy is always being a light-hearted funny cunt. That and just keep calm and collected, I deserve whoever I want and give it to me now, oh and your only supposed to put splotches of vegemite on buttered toasted bread. Last one is verrrrrrrrrrrrrrry important.
I wasn’t really into these girls but I grabbed the number of the friend because I overheard her talking how she wants to get laid. It was easy because she was pent up and hot for it, don’t know if I’ll bother though because she’s not really hot enough.
There is this foreign girl inside from Canada my friend brought along and I’m chatting to her for a bit about how I look like a snowman, she’s pulling on my rip cord for a few minutes and waltzes off. A girl is passing through and she has red super girl boots on and I tell her that and she’s being a bit of a bitch at first then I tell her to “Calm the fuck down I’m gay.” And she looses the attitude.
“You’re not gay!”
“Yeah I am the gayest guy you ever saw”
“I’m going to hook you up with my friend!”
Haha this gay guy comes over and he’s got a seductive look like he’s actually going to get some play and I say to her;
“Fuck that, I want to fuck you in the ass not your boyfriend.”
“Ha! Oh my god!”
“Don’t worry I’m only joking… unless you want me too haha.”
The gay guy cock blocks and drags her away but as she’s passing through she pinches my ass so you know she was into that shit.
Later outside I’m talking to this nice Indian girl about fuck knows I can’t remember but somehow I got the math, she’s slender and tall and that’s very yum. There is this bloke dancing like a stooge and apparently he’s a “professional” I find this out when I’m talking to her older girlfriend and later she confesses that deep down she thinks she dances like a stooge too, I don’t really do steals but I decide I’m going for her because I feel sorry for her that she has to hang out with stooginess, seriously it’s hard to explain but his limbs are flying around in quick spastic jerks and it’s just not cricket you know… so I say;
“Hey I feel sorry for you”
“Ahh he’s alright haha” she says sheepishly
“Do you wanna get fucked in the ass by a real man?”
“Sure why don’t you give me your number and we’ll hook up, I can’t tonight though I’m with him”
“Haha cool with me it’s your self esteem”
Later I send her a text saying “I’m going to destroy your pussy.”
“Can’t wait! xx”
Fucking dirtbag.
I end up standing with the Canadian girl again in this circle. One of the guys says “Wow that guy’s a cool dancer!” and points to the stooge. Me and her roll our eyes haha.
“I reckon you’re going home with him.”
“Haha fuck off”
“Which one of these boys here would you like to go home with?
“It’s not about going home with someone, why do I have to go home with someone? That’s stupid and I’m all about finding a connection with someone.”
“That’s a good reaction to have.”
“Umm no, I don’t just hook up with complete randoms, I have respect for myself and that is something I just don’t do.”
“Wow you’re pretty vicious, you are like MEHHR!” and I say ‘mehhr’ while making cat claws
“Haha shutup!”
“Lighten the fuckup MEHHR! You’re allowed to MEHHR! You don’t have to be all ‘I hate men’ MEHHR!”
She’s laughing her ass off but I get;
“I’m going to the bar.”
“Can you get me a vodka and orange?”
“Haha no!”
I follow her to the bar which is an inside short walk;
“So why you hate men?”
“It’s not about that, guys don’t know how to treat a lady and…
Seriously at this point she goes on this monologue about relationships and how you’re suppose to meet that one soul mate with a connection and I’m just “yep…yep…cool…haha. (wow this is bullshit)” It’s just all about noble, morals; honour and picture perfect romance you know…
“Well hell baby I’m here don’t miss it.”
Anyway the place shuts down and me, her and a good mate move off to the open club next door, where partying it up and she’s ignoring me. My friend disappears he later told me he somehow ended up hanging with a tribe of aboriginals and experienced some culture haha oh shit wtf man wtf haha.
After awhile
I sit next to her “I’m actually the romantic type down with all that you’re talking…” and I go on a monologue about heart felt relationships and the displacement of opportunity in our society that leads to the endemic mistake of misrepresentation of ones soul mate as is sitting around out there just waiting and I can’t fucking believe it but after all the moral liberal stern walls she had up we end up kissing and it was pretty hot haha. After a short make out we leave and I walk her to my car to drive her to her car but she doesn’t know where it is and we end up taking these laps around the city where I just pull over and start making out with her, I do this until my cock is out and she’s injecting her libertarian rules about how “How this doesn’t happen to her…oh you’re pushing my head down how romantic…nothing is going to happen…I’m not screwing you in your car you can just forget it.”
We decide to just go to her house and sleep and find her car in the morning and that was her idea haha.
I take a shower at her place and rest up till she finishes her shower, she hops into her bed and you know………..
We get our fuck on but she isn’t cool with me pulling her hair and spanking her ass and likes it more romantic. Plus she can only go one round but it is a long session and it’s dusk outside after awhile of plugging away she has to stop because I’ve throttled that shit and none of us cum. I miss my sex fiend Melbourne girl…did I mention I love that city…
So at pillow talk I ask her what was it about me. She tells me she liked me the first time she saw me, plus she liked the fact we weren’t talking about what we do for a living and she pretended to be lost and she knows where her car is haha
Then in the morning after fondling one another I blew my load on her titties.
Lovely and eventful hot evening return out yum yay haha
zib
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