Went out today with this hot uni actor man she’s beautiful, but everyone is anyways here’s the story.
Awhile back I first saw this girl at university from afar and it was one of those girls you see and are struck in awe, total Wayne’s world style where slow romantic type music shit plays in your head and everything moves in slow-mo. She was in one of my first year uni lecture theatre classes (huge classroom) and I never had the balls to step to her, surprise surprise. Anyway a couple of interesting crossing path situations happened over three years at fucking uni. First was being an extra during a crap student film and she just happened to be the lead in the crap student film nothing really leapt off from their though. Next was admiring her from afar and the usual never really having the balls to step to her. Two years pass and I had seen her sporadically in and around on campus but nothing really to write about.
It’s three years down the track and I’m working work experience at this actor’s casting agency that operated out the side of a rich house in Mont Clare. I actually worked on some pretty impressive projects but that’s another story. In this office there was never more than three people in it working on something and guess who one day came in on work experience for herself – Hot uni actor. We where holding this lame work party for the launch of an advertisement division and long story short I got to drive around with just me and her handing out these lame balloon invitations. The end of the day I pinched her math (phone number). We soon got talking over MSN and after going through some inconsiderate situations (Hey can’t expect beautiful women to be considerate – they don’t have the time) where she left me hanging for an actor for a short film I was working on, I got through it unphased and generated some interest over the MSN with some cocky funny confidence, bailing when we where getting along really well where she was showing interest, letting it cook and identity chat – I was impressed for myself at how I was able to turn it around, anyways through it all it lead to this date where I asked her to tag along with me because I needed to “just” buy travel gear. I didn’t think she’d go for it because it was hot as fuck like 40 degree’s Celsius – but hey she did so I had to rush to get ready and didn’t have time to really go over any interesting game to spit to her.
I picked her up around 1pm – she lived age rages away. It had been ages since I’d seen her in person but I was struck once again as I saw her at the front of her door. She even had this red mark on her face (fuck knows she must have been sleeping on her face or something) yet she was still absolutely gorgeous, I was going to ask her what had happened but it faded out as soon as we where in the car. In the car on the way to the city it wasn’t actually going to bad the talk was flowing and it even touched on small social dynamic situations which where actually pretty interesting. Here’s a note for all the fellas scared to approach – she never gets approached, I asked her how often she did and she couldn’t remember the last time she did. My thoughts on this were she’s simply beautifully intimidating.
So we get into the city and out the car park and the chat is still going not too bad, looking back I probably should of gone for the hand hold here I actually said this too myself, probably where it may of started to fall apart. She was kinda close and her arm was just dangling by the side I was walking along. I had no idea if this was an invitation or not – still don’t now. We’re walking through the city walk through and the chat is starting to wane and we get into Myer looking for this fucking luggage section where the chat is beginning to get weaker and weaker and I’m starting to worry and it’s probably not helping I’m sweating my ass off over trying to impress and the heat cooking everything in my city with no air con up in this shopping spot. I had this idea for a place to take her because we’re both into filmic shit and the lame educational place was doing an exhibition of behind the scenes movie special FX, it would have been good for comedy value but it turned out she had just been there just three days ago, I was at a loss and went to the toilet to clear my head and regroup. I looked into the mirror and I wasn’t a total sweaty mess, my paranoia and anxiety was just fucking about off the rictor like usual.
I found her looking at the clothes and shit and I decided we should catch the train to the west of the city anyway to the educational joint, there was a park over the road I figured I could go to with her where I could spit game. Anyways before all this I tried working this game called “Don’t care if you do know” this game worked well with mates at work but with her it just didn’t fly and it felt lame. Waiting in the train it was more weak fluff and she was even beginning to give ‘ol raised eyebrow’ looks and the shit I was saying just wasn’t fresh, I tried playing an improv game I learnt from a Wayne Brady improv seminar and it went okay for a while but got old really quickly – too quickly, she actually said “I’m over this game.” It was going like shit and I sensed she wanted to bail (this games brutal baby) I figured I could save it at the park. We get to the park and it’s all nice and we chill by this swing set.
We’re on a swing each and she’s now on her phone heaps which she had been using on the train, wasn’t a good start. I threw everything at her and things started to kind of look up. Got a straight 10 which she lowered to 8 after playing 4 questions with her, tried to worked the whole advanced comfort ambition thing, spoke about some Carl Jung teachings, went the whole intellectual route made it fun by telling her about King’s, magicians, warriors and lovers, more advanced comfort, told her a Style story about 100% perfect loves, got over the shit-test barely when she went “Ehh this is Serendipity”. Luckily as I got to the end it wasn’t but still similar (They don’t end up together in the Style version). Really made me feel that I should come up with my own original stuff rather than relaying a lot of the stuff I read. It’s also not helping that I’m reading about how dudes in my lair are using the same stuff and the other night I cubed some girl and she had had it done before. I was at a loss as to where I was on the road map but reading over this I should have gone for the caressing touch much, much earlier as she was into me (I swear) before this frightening day. It was time for her to go home, she said earlier before the day begun she needed to be back at 4 and she chose to use the get out of jail card. It really wasn’t vibing at all.
We’re waiting for the train and I call her feet stubby and give her a trust test and her hands follow me down but she doesn’t squeeze back. She gets annoyed again because I can’t explain what this mean’s, I basically tell her “I dunno just wanted to see”. More chat about life and all that as we walk to the car, she’s on the phone by the ticket machine. In the car on the way back working this advance comfort thing telling her aspirations and drive I get the first real indicators of interest after quizzically looking throughout the whole day. What I should of realised was she was there in the first place coming out with me after I had spent weeks before hand making this date happen in the first place. That was the major buy signal. At her house we hug goodbye and she paused for a moment after the close hug, should have gone for something! Played it to safe, and she’s out the car and I’m upset on the way home I try a last ditch text msg which went as follows “Hey dork, I like how u ain’t a neurotic mess, u hav it together an ya quite smart :D that’s attractive, anyways wanna hang out again sometime?” BOOM! Nail in coffin, no response and if there is any recovery from here it’s going to be incredibly difficult. In my defence of this day other than I’m shit, her social skills weren’t up to par either. She did say she has no real friends and she went on a holiday alone, but still it’s up to me to bring it out of her. Anyways darl if you end up reading this – let’s try again. :D
SHIT I SHOULD HAVE DONE
-More playful teasing
-More not worrying
-Stop trying to impress her - the jokes just came off lame and added to the dismal situation
-Early kino/kino with the shit I say – there was a lot of before hand phone/MSN work to get her out on an occasion, I still believe it would of flied if we where hand holding early, her arm was dangling out there for fuck sake and my gut told me to make the move. Because I didn’t do it early any later kino would have been well out of place, which left me in a stuck position as the day progressed. Probably would have been good for my state if we where holding hands – I like holding hands :D The convo flowed well but it got irate in later parts because their was no comfort intimacy.
-More original shit
-Go on more dates and get better
-Maybe it’s not the best idea to go out on 40 degree Celsius days. Would have shown some grace if I cancelled the date to go out later plus I wouldn’t have sweated like a work horse just doing normal mundane shit like taking footsteps.
-Recently I’ve let feelings of depression and unworthiness get the better of me, situations like this don’t help. I must remember to laugh aloud at this and push on, grab nuts say fuck it and be confident.
Fucking work it mate
Cheers
zib
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