-Push ON (Sat 20-01-07)

Having one of them sad days that keep popping round in the circle of life just feeling irritable, depressed and unworthy even as I write this I fee l like a loser. Got that voice in my head telling me I'm a loser and pretty much being cynical of every minor and major thing that I do. Even with the successes of walking up and talking to people I'm still getting paid out for it, thinking’s and feelings of feelings that I'm ugly - shit like that, I know that who cares if I am or not, that is not the issue the important thing is to just push on and be strong and be confident let the mind feel the healing process as I write all this junk on the page even as I feel the voices put pressure on I have to keep on moving. Some of the shit I hear is ridiculously crazy like even if I did pull a women home I wouldn't be able to satisfy her", "I can't even get it up for her", "My nose is to big and I have an ugly smile with bad teeth". As bad as it gets it is imperative I push on. As people unconsciously or even consciously destructively put me down I have to push on and keep doing what I'm doing. :D

Perhaps I’ll employ some kind of limiting belief remover techniques.

Cheers

zib