With determination causes a tense nothingness. I want to repair myself from my sorry situation the problem is I don't know if what I'm trying to move myself into is not another sorry situation in itself. I hear of the achievements of others in PU and even envision myself doing the types of phenomenal things I hear about like having all types of different women but even if I did get all this will that be any type of validation. I've read before that it will not but their is no doubt I have to break from my shy shell. Do I have to? Maybe no not really but in today’s cruel world it asks for someone of cocky charisma to create and acquire these opportunities in life. The problem is I am disheartened and feel I am doing the wrong thing. It hurts to write like this. It hurts to show off this. They say it's good to bleed like this. Is this just my anxiety playing up? I can feel the tenseness fluctuate as I write line for line on paper. I'm sitting on the shitter as I write this, yes the actual toilet because I'm determined to get over my problems. I felt the need to chuck a shit and I have the sneaky suspicion my body brought it on like this cause I knew I was going to pour out hard emotion like this out onto paper or maybe I'm just babbling scribbling here with cotton slippers on and Hilfiger undies around my ankles emptying my assholes contents into the toilet. That's pretty funny, what's even funnier is why are you reading this shit? The last sentence back I forced on that laugh (but it came naturally as I retype this shit btw I like writing on paper first cause I heard it's more natural but you don't give a fuck :D) and now I'm thinking what the fuck am I doing as I try to anticipate a readers reaction as I write this shit on the toilet. Fuck this, time to wipe my ass.
haha
That say it's lame to laugh at your own jokes and shit, but fuck that last line damn! New Dave Chapelle
zibbolo
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